Ian has decided we all need to go on a diet.

Well, actually, Ian needs to go on a diet as he spent most of the Christmas and New Year period in the pub with his mates and Uncle Biscuit drinking loads of Stowey Ale beer!

So I have been doing a bit of research to find out wot diet would be good for a Labrador:

16.01.03 Ozy Diet

I’ve fainted with hunger already!


This is based on a points’ system. No foods are banned and you daily and weekly ‘Smartpoints®’ and ‘Fitpoints’. For example, my normal kibble would be my daily allowance and I could have some Bonios each week with some chews. The Fitpoints are easy as I go on a walk every day. This looks like it might be a good thing to go on as it’s what I normally do.


This replaces two meals with a milkshake and then I can have a sensible meal in the evenings. Some snacks are allowed. However, the real drawback is that one of the shake flavours is chocolate and dogs must NEVER eat chocolate. Probably not good for dogs.

Cabbage Soup

This is where you eat cabbage soup. HORRIBLE

New Atkins

This involves staving the body of carbohydrates. It’s protein-rich diet with no restrictions on fat. This sounds FANTASTIC. I can go without biscuits and just eat meat.

5:2 Fast Diet

This is where you can eat as much as you like on five days but on two days you have to eat less. This sometimes happens when Ian forgets to feed me. It sounds like it might be alright, but one of the side-effects is bad breath – WOT am I talking about, I’ve always got bad breath!

NHS weight loss plan

This is really boring. Wot you do is just eat less and move more. However, it’s wot most diets are.

So all in all I prefer the Atkins diet – but first I must work out my BMI (Body Mass Index). To do this I need to take my weight and height and Ian pushes some buttons on his little machine and …. WHAT THE …

16.01.03 Ozy BMI

Ozy the Labrador

To come and stay with me at the UK’s most dog friendly guesthouse call 01278 732228 or e-mail


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As you are aware a few months ago some of our guests wot come all the time wrote a letter to the Kennel Club to say we were reely dog friendly here at The Old Cider House. We then had to get people to vote for us; so I got Ian to send stuff out on the e-mail and Twitter and Snoutbook and wotever and we crossed our paws and hoped that we would win.

Last week Lynne got a call from the Kennel Club to say that we had got the most votes in our category and we had won the bestest B&B/Hotel. This is fantastic. We got 1,836 votes wot was 11% of the total votes cast.

On Saturday I sent Alan and Glenny together with Uncle and Auntie Biscuit AND Barky Harvey up to the Excel Centre in London to be presented with my prize (sorry OUR) prize; a bit of glass with some words on it.

I would like to thank all those people wot voted for us and Ian has said that all dogs visiting up until Easter next year can come and stay for free. You just have to tell him that you’ve read this blog when booking.

I hope to see you all in the next year at the UK’s most dog friendly guesthouse.

Luv, Ozy

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Vote for Ozy at Most Friendly B&B

Be Dog Friendly Awards 2015

Vote for The Old Cider House

Vote for The Old Cider House

In 2008 The Old Cider House was voted the most dog friendly B&B in the UK by the Kennel Club. This is mainly because of me greeting all the dogs wot come and stay with us to make sure they have a good time and stuff.

Ian and Lynne do their bit as well; giving all dog guests home-made dog biscuits, a booklet of walks and stuff, a tag (mainly so the owners can get delivered back to us after a night out at one of the three dog friendly pubs in the village) AND a sausage breakfast. The sausage breakfast is a bit of a bone of contention as I do not get one and I don’t think this is fair. Ian’s response is that he doesn’t have cooked breakfast in the morning. Not much of an argument I think!


“Please Sir, Can I have some more votes?”

This year one of our reely nice guests has nominated us again and wot I need you to do is to vote for The Old Cider House by clicking this BE DOG FRIENDLY link. I think it is important that there are loads of places around the UK wot allow me and other dogs to stay. Mostly dogs are well behaved (although some of the owners are a bit suspect) and it is important to convince accommodation providers to let people stay with their dogs.

I have also been entered into the Brakspear’s dogs in pubs completion. You don’t have to vote for this one, but you can see my reely good photo at – I’m in the fourth line down.

Ian has now finished his book and so I should be able to blog more regularly now – in fact my next blog will be about the book as I appear in it and on the back cover!

So, until next time…

Luv, Ozy

The Old Cider House, Dog Friendly B&B, Somerset

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Hannah’s Sweets

I have just done my Maths DCSE (Dog Certificate of Secondary Education). Blinking Nora, it woz difficult. One of the questions woz nearly impossible to answer.


Rover has a number of biscuits, six black kennel-shaped biscuits and an unidentified number of orange fish-shaped ones. Overall he has ‘N’ biscuits.

Rover eats one of the biscuits – it’s black. He then eats another biscuit, this is also black.

The probability of him eating these two black biscuits is a third.

How many biscuits will be left?

I sat for a long time pondering this question. Finally I used the following formula to work it out:

N = 6 (black) + N-6 (orange) – 1 x black = N-6-1 (black) = 0

Therefore there are zero biscuits left.

Wen I got home I asked Ian to carry out a practical experiment to prove this and he did a video of me…

If you are having difficulty with your maths, come to The Old Cider House, Dog Friendly B&B.

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Coleridge Way

I’ve just had my 12th birthday , that makes me 89 according to the Pedigree Petfood website, wot is quite old (me not the site).

So, wot did Ian get me for my birthday? A new blanket to cover my knees or a hot water bottle to keep me warm at night?

Me in the wind on the Coleridge Way

Me in the wind on the Coleridge Way


He took me on a 55 mile walk!

As you know, Ian is writing a book on the Coleridge Way wot starts in Nether Stowey and goes all the way to Lynmouth in Devon. He has nearly finished it and wanted to walk it one final time. I can’t actually remember agreeing to walk it with him and woz sort of carried along with the plan. The next thing I knew, I woz in the vets getting a health check to make sure I woz fit enough. The stupid vet said ‘yes’ and so we walked the entire path in three (yes, you heard me right – three) days!

Luckily the weather woz quite nice and I didn’t have to carry any food or water (Ian did that for me) and I just trotted off at a reasonable pace. We did nearly 18 miles on the first day with no trouble at all. I must admit I woz a bit tired at the end of the day, but other than that fine. The second day woz 17 miles and again it woz easy peasy, although Ian woz moaning a bit about the ups and downs and the third say no trouble at all as well. We then got up at the crack of dawn on the last day to walk an additional 4 miles so we could see where Coleridge went with his friends and to take drugs (Coleridge, not me and Ian).

The best bits of the walk were the sausages that Ian took with him on the first day, lunchtime and dinner and treats in pubs. Other than that, I’m not sure I can remember much. The scenery woz okay and meeting an adder woz a bit frightening, but walking 55 miles is not difficult – even if you are 89!

So, if you fancy walking the Coleridge Way, then give Ian or Lynne a call and they will help you.

Luv, Ozy

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How should dogs vote?

Vote carefully by licking the candidate you want.

Vote carefully by licking the candidate you want.

I have been wondering how I should vote in the election. So I have been scanning the manifestos of all the main parties looking to see what they say about dogs’ rights and how us dogs will be looked after in the future.


There is nothing in the manifesto about dogs. This is disappointing as there are 8.3 million dogs, lots of them living in middle-class homes. These dogs have a lot of needs; kibble, nice places in the country to walk and like to travel abroad to their owner’s holiday homes in Provence etc. They would have a lot of pester power and could convince their owners to vote Tory.


Their manifesto actually has stuff about dogs and animals:

We will build on our strong record on animal welfare – starting with an end to the Government’s ineffective and cruel badger cull. We will improve the protection of dogs and cats, ban wild animals in circuses, defend the hunting ban and deal with wildlife crime associated with shooting…

Whilst we would be bankrupt again it seems that they have our best interests at heart.

Liberal Dalmations

Nothing about dogs here at all. However, they do not appear to rule out forming an alliance with another breeds to form a government. All these dogs are owned by people wot work in schools or in local government.

UK Independent Pooch (UKIP)

These are run by a Rottweiler called Nigel. It is his intention to limit the number of foreign dogs wot can come into the country. This is all well and good but I am originally a Portuguese fishing dog wot worked in the north-east part of America. Would he let me in today?

Scottish Naughty Puppies (SNP)

These are reely naughty. I couldn’t find their manifesto on their website initially, until I found out you had to click on a picture of the fish woman with the funny haircut. Nothing about dogs – how will the Westies and Scotties know how to vote?


Blinking Nora, there’s loads of stuff on dogs here:

  • Strengthen the ban on hunting with dogs
  • Stop non-medical experiments, experiments using primates, cats and dogs
  • Completely review and update existing dog legislation, particularly relating to dog control
  • Ensure properly coordinated action on dog fighting
  • A requirement that dogs living in council owned homes should be micro-chipped

Monster Raving Loony Party

Nothing in the manifesto really about dogs, although I did like the policy for HMRC to give Nectar points to those paying their taxes on time. However, previous policies have included:

  • Abolition of dog licences (1987) – nothing yet on the abolition of the poetic licence.
  • Passports for pets (2001)
  • Pets, especially cats and dogs, may not be dressed in miniature human clothing for the purpose of human amusement

I’ll leave it up to you how you or your owner votes…

However, if you want to discuss politics with me call 01278 732228 or send me message at 


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The Grand Tour

Firstly, I know a lot of you have been worried cos you haven’t heard from me lately. This is because Ian is writing a book and decided that all other stuff had to be put on hold – including my blog. As Ian has now finished the initial draft and is on the first edit he sed he had a few minutes to type up a lot of backlogged dictation from me.

So wot have I been up to?

Well, I’ve just come back from a ‘Grand Tour’ of Europe. This is wot the Victorian middle classes used to do, and as I’m middle class I thort I’d do the same.


Me with mad Belgian people

Me with mad Belgian people

Ian likes Belgium, mainly because it does gud beer this meant that we spent quite a lot of time in bars, which, on the whole is a gud thing as there are always opportunities to hoover up under tables and to beg food from other diners. However, the Belgians are a bit mad, including one couple wot insisted on having their photo taken with me.

Dog friendly rating ****


Very expensive water in Luxembourg

Very expensive water in Luxembourg

This is a funny little country wot is quite difficult to find, in fact Ian had to drive round and reverse a few times to make sure we were actually there.

It is a very rich country (2nd highest GDP per person) this is because of the exorbitant prices they charge for a beer. However, they were reasonably friendly. If you struggle to name a famous Belgian, then you will have no hope with a famous Luxembourgian! I didn’t spend long there.

Dog friendly rating ****


My first escalator

My first escalator

This woz our main destination and we hired a dog friendly apartment for a week.

Germany is reely dog friendly. There are loads of walks (wot are very well signposted), and all the bars and restaurants let dogs in – even reely posh ones – restaurants, not dogs.

Ian had bratwurst every day for lunch and I even got my own one, wot I bought out of my holiday money I had saved up from my tips.

Looking worried in the  German vets with scruffy lead

Looking worried in the German vets with scruffy lead

We did a lot of travelling by train in Germany and once Ian had worked out how to buy the tickets we went all over the place in including Heidleburg. However, I can report that German trains DO NOT run on time.

The only disaster was that I lost my lead and had to buy a new one.

Dog friendly rating *****


We stayed in Epernay in Champagne. I’m not a lover of champagne as the bubbles tend to go up my nose and with a nose the size of mine, this can be quite painful.

In posh French restaurant - Oh la la!

In posh French restaurant – Oh la la!

I’m not sure whether it woz just because we were in a posh area, but it wozn’t as dog friendly as I’d expected with a few ‘no dog’ signs placed at snout height to let me know I wasn’t wanted. Having said that most places did allow me in and people were very friendly.

Dog friendly rating ***

We went through the tunnel on the train thing and that was interesting and very efficient, and I can recommend this as a way to get to the Continent as it is not as up and down as a boat. Details of Le Shuttle here

So, I hope to be back blogging normally now – until next time.

Luv Ozy

If you’d like to discuss the EU, please come and stay with me here at The Old Cider House, Nether Stowey, Somerset – the UK’s most dog friendly accommodation

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