Ian took me out for an early morning walk today (hoped it was going to be the Quantocks). This worried me because this usually means I’m going to the vets – but today we went to the library (next to the vets) where Ian did something called ‘voting’. It was boring.
Ian tried to explain how voting worked and what AV was. I was confused (but I am a Labrador) – having said that it seems that Radio 4’s John Humphrys doesn’t seem to understand the system either (what’s Radio 4?).
So Ian used the biscuits he has baked for this Saturday’s Nether Stowey (Quantock Hills) May Fair to explain:
Ian has baked 4 types of biscuit and I asked 3 of my mates to help (Archie, Holly and Ollie) – my favourite is the ‘carroty cats’ so I gave them my first vote, my second favourite is salmon fishes and then broccoli bones. I didn’t vote for the mushroom stars at all. After a slight mix up about whether I should eat the voting slip, I managed to put my preferences on the paper and put it into the old Quality Street tin being used as a ballot box.
Now, the broccoli bones got the least votes and the carroty cats the most, but not enough to get 50% of the votes. So the broccoli bones were re-distributed. When this took place the mushroom stars were in second place (yuk) and the salmon fishes came last. We then re-distributed the fishes (all sounding a bit Biblical isn’t it?) and most of the fishy dogs had mushroom stars as their second choice. Therefore the mushroom stars won – wot a swizz! No one really wanted the mushroom stars but they got most votes because dogs don’t like cats – how can that be fair?
Whatever – if you want to come and support the Nether Stowey May Fair on Saturday (7th) and the National Animal Welfare Trust we’d love to see you.