National Minimum Biscuit Rate and Old Age

Andrew Dilnot has just reported on how much the elderly will have to pay for their care in the future. I have read this report and I cannot see any reference to dogs (or any other domestic pets for that matter). I have therefore calculated how I should prepare for my old age.

Ozy in the dog house

Me stuck in one of those dog care homes

Firstly you have to know how old you really are. The nonsense about 7 human years for every dog year is SOOOO outdated. Have a look at this chart to find out your age. I’m 57. If I retire at 65 then I will be about 10 – say 2 years’ time. The average life expectancy for a Labrador (depressing isn’t it) is 12.6 years. This means I have 2.6 years to look forward to in retirement. Assuming I work 9 hours a week (napkins, toilet roll recycling and washing machine filling) at the National Minimum Biscuit Rate (5.93 biscuits an hour) that means I get 53 biscuits a week. Over the next two years this is 5,550 biscuits. In retirement I will only need about 50% of the biscuits I have now therefore I will need to have saved up 3,380 biscuits. In order to make this work I need to set aside 61% of my biscuits, leaving me only 21 biscuits a week to live on now.

Alternatively, I shall ask Ian and the Rose and Crown to keep feeding me!

Don’t forget to come and see me The Old Cider House, Quantock Hills

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About Blog Administrator

We write a number of blogs for different reasons. For: Law - contact Ian Pearson 07531 852 229 Dog - contact Ozy The Old Cider House - contact Lynne 01278 732228
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