Ian and Lynne have been away to Greece (like France but lazier and further away) so I have been looking after Alan and Glennys for a couple of weeks. This has been hard work as they are not sure of my normal routine; so I have been overfed, allowed to sleep on the bed and have been staying up late and watching television – SMASHING.
Ian has been telling me all about the Greek dogs and how the economy has all gone to pot. Supposedly, Greek dogs don’t have jobs and just laze about all day. They thrive on some sort of chaotic lifestyle where no dog knows what is going on – for example buses and trains run to some sort of imaginary timetable from imaginary stops, taxi drivers make up the fares as they go along and restaurants bring different food to that wot you ordered and when it arrives it’s luke warm! The dogs then wake up at about ten o’clock at night and wander from bar to bar and restaurant to restaurant moaning about the economy and how it is Angular Turtle and Mr Sarcastic’s fault that they have frittered away all the money the hard working dogs in other countries have given them (except Spain, Ireland, Italy and Portugal) on half built roads and construction projects. Then they keep going on about how some bloke call Elgin has lost his marbles (probably trying to get the number 8 bus from Athens to Olympia!) or woz it lost their marbles? – Ian was a bit vague.
I’m glad I live in Somerset things are more straight forward here and now that Lynne and Ian are home I can get back to my normal routine. Having said that we are on advent calendar time, which means that each afternoon I sit in front of the fireplace looking at the rectangular yellow cardboard box with the little windows and every day the humans search for something for a while (I think there is some order to the box) and then open one of the little windows and I get a Mini Markie biscuit. All seems a bit of a palaver to me, but the biscuit’s okay.
I’ve also reached a milestone as I have just written my 500th Tweet. This is the best way to find out what’s happening to me on a day to day basis and when to put out the various sorts of rubbish and recycling for the bin men. A lot of people rely on me to tell them when it’s composting day and I will be doing a revised bin rota for the Christmas period which will be more accurate than that wot Somerset Council have on their website.
Well the little windows tell me that it is only a week to go before the day that I get a special dinner and I really need to write my Christmas Speech.
So until then…