It’s that time of year again when I am asked what my New Year’s resolutions are. Well, the truth is I’m not overly good at keeping my resolutions, something to do with a bloke called Pavlov and the fact that I can’t escape my conditioning – and the fact that I dribble when I hear my bowl being picked up.
Fatty Ian is going to give up meat and beer for January so that he is not so fat or blurred. He’s even gone so far as to buy the Hugh Sternly-Witteringon book on vegetables. Lynne is REALLY looking forward to January and I saw her stocking up with pork chops just in case she gets withdrawal symptoms. The Rose and Crown are worried about their takings and may have to lay off staff if Ian’s resolution goes past the end of January.
Having said that, only 37% of men stick to their resolutions and women are even worse with 30%. I don’t have the figures for dogs to hand but I can’t imagine they are much better. However, there are certain methods to ensure success, including having achievable goals and not doing too much (I think Ian has bitten off more than he can chew). However, those that tell people wot they are going to do are more likely to stay the course and I have convinced Ian to do an on-line diary and you can see how he’s doing by clicking here.
Back to me. I am going to set myself a few minor changes and, hopefully, I can stick to them. So here they are:
- Stop going behind the bar in the Rose and Crown. This is becoming a bit of a habit but Charles will insist on keeping the biscuits at nose height where the beer pumps are. Ian should also stop visiting the bar, but he says it’s Charles’ fault for putting the beer pumps at mouth height.
- Stop jumping up at the bar (can you see a theme developing?). This is going to be difficult as practically all the pubs in the Quantocks keep treats behind the bars and are reely dog friendly, and I just can’t help myself. I will however, make sure I keep my claws cut so that I don’t scratch the wood.
- Stop running after balls, sticks, biscuits etc. until I see them leave Ian’s hand. Ian is a bit of a sod sometimes and pretends to throw things. It is reely embarrassing (and annoying) to have to come back to find him still holding the item.
- No more eating neighbours’ ducks.
- Stop rolling in fox poo or dead badgers. My eyes just go glazed and my shoulder goes down and next thing I know I’m being tied up in the courtyard and being hosed down (it’s like a Central American prison here sometimes). I don’t need punishment, I need therapy!
I think that’s enough resolutions for one year. If you have any resolutions let me know by writing in the comments box below.
I hope you all have a very happy New Year and we’ll meet again in the New Year.