Uncle Peter visited for New Year (the pubs had stocked up on beer in anticipation of a good end of December trading period). This time he did bring presents; a couple of bags of chews (which were okay) and a squeaky Space Hopper. I must admit I wasn’t too fussed about the Space Hopper and I am told that Tiggy (Uncle Peter’s brother’s Labrador) didn’t rate it much either. But the thought was there I suppose.
Uncle Peter who is an accountant (wotever one of those is – isn’t it a person who sez “what do you want it to be?”) has been trying to teach me double-entry bookkeeping. This is where you have two sets of accounts one is called a debit and one is called a credit and these things have to balance. So far so good.
Now, to make this simple I shall use my box of biscuits to explain how this works. This box is a debit because it is an asset. Assets go by the door. Therefore my box of biscuits is next to the laundry room door. This is confusing because wen you have money in your bank account you are in credit, but as I don’t have a bank account this doesn’t worry me.
If I ate the biscuits my stomach would be in debit (and the biscuits themselves in credit). If instead of eating them (unlikely I think!) and I sold all my biscuits I will be hungry but these will then be a credit and these go by the window – if I still had them, which I don’t.
Assuming I can buy back the biscuits that I have sold (if I buy them back cheaper than the sale price these will be a debit – yes?) then these would be a ‘current asset’ – even though currants, sultanas and raisins are poisonous to dogs (doesn’t seem much of an asset to me – more of a currant liability!).
If I didn’t have the money to buy back the biscuits and bought them on credit, the person (or dog) selling me the biscuits would be my creditor and I would be his debitor. The person who lent me the money to buy the biscuits would also be my creditor and I would be a bad debitor as I have no money to pay back the loan (as I am a dog). This would be a tax deductible bad debt. No doubt HMRC have a manual on the subject and you can find out more about this and Extra Statutory Concessions by visiting their website.
The important thing is that in double-entry book keeping, every window must have a door. If there is no window, like in the Castle Room toilet, then biscuits must not be taken there.
So, there we are. Next week Professor Brian Cox is going to help me explain quantum physics.
Just a few notices from Ian: Farmhouse Breakfast week starts 22nd January, lots of specials on including breakfast dog biscuits for….dogs! Lynne and Ian are also cooking two St Valentine’s Meals so if you are a human wot is in love and want a night away (with or without your dog) then let them know.