My blogs for the first month of the year have focussed on a number of high profile discussions on current affairs and I thort I’d catch up on events wot have happened in January.
Firstly, I have been asked by Indi of Lower Halstow, Kent about opening offshore bank accounts. Well, Indi from Kent, this follows on from the press reports that Harry Redknapp’s dog has opened an offshore bank account. I have researched the procedure and it seems that you need to have some money to start with. Preferably, this money needs to come from ‘bungs’ (whatever one of those is). Ian has therefore opened an account called ‘Ozy03′(my name and year of birth) in order to keep any bungs I may get. Unfortunately, I am still waiting for my first bung. I do, however, have a number of other things in common with Mr Redknapp, I too can’t spell, operate a fax machine and write like a two year old.
I don’t usually discuss my finances, but I do like to keep a diverse portfolio of investments. I have a large collection of vintage toys which I keep in my basket. In these difficult times of low interesting rates, it’s gud to have a number of valuable antiques which could be sold if necessary (sort of Cash in the Kennel). Some of the toys are in poor condition due to chewing wen I woz a puppy, but since I lerned the value of such items I have kept them in their original boxes. I believe original Corgi toys are particularly valuable (probably bekoz the Queen looks after this sort of dog) and I still keep my Tamagotchi alive by licking it occasionally. I think I may have accidentally swallowed the plunger eye of my Dalek as I can’t find it anywhere and this probably devalues it a bit although it does make it less likely that it will try and take over the Universe.
As for other investments, I keep a keen eye on the international kibble market and often buy futures in Winalot Shapes trading these as and wen I need some treats. As for foreign deposits, I did quite a lot of poos in France wen I woz over there last year, but I don’t think they have much value now.
My ‘Double-Entry Bookkeeping’ blog woz very successful with Accountancy Age, the newspaper wot accountants pretend to read, Tweeting about it. I am now thinking of setting up in financial services although I am having some difficulty in getting the SRA to take me seriously, mainly because I haven’t passed any of their exams and I am a dog.
Talking about blogs and Tweeting, my blog about the ‘Offside Rule’ woz picked up by Neil Wolfson, the man wot designed the drawing on the 50p piece – how famous is that!
To end this week a trawl though dog related news brought up this advert for VW -Star Wars dogs. As you will see, the Labrador is the star and duz the best barking.
That’s enough for one day.
Don’t forget that if you have a bung to spend, come and see me at The Old Cider House, Dog Friendly B&B, Nether Stowey, Quantocks, Quantock Hills, Somerset