I have been contacted by an undercover journalist to explain my position on the ‘cash for kibble’ issue that has been raging in the press for the last week. It appears that my owners, Ian and Lynne, have been promising potential guests a meeting with me if they pay between £60 and £80 a night to stay at The Old Cider House. This woz done without my knowledge or authority. Whilst guests are willing to pay the going rate for a room, I cannot guarantee to be there to meet them. Of course, if guests have a cup of tea and a biscuit, I will always make an effort to greet them, likewise, at breakfast, a sausage or bit of toast may tempt me from my bed. This is a ‘robust and sensible’ procedure for dealing with ‘treats’ as far as I am concerned. However, from now I will be publishing a list of all donors on a quarterly basis, and I would like to acknowledge; Charles from the Rose and Crown, Bill from the George and Rob from the Ancient Mariner in the Village for providing biscuits and chews to, not just me, but all visiting dogs to their pubs.
Now, when woz the last time I had a pasty? Last week wen I woz on holiday in Cornwall (just waiting for the pictures to come back from Boots for the end of the week blog!). I prefer my pasties cold coz hot ones tend to burn my tongue. This means that my pasty costs 20% less (actually that might be 16.67%). I tend to eat mine off the floor – but I am a dog. I’d even eat one given to me by David Cameron if required! However, the eating of pasties may well be contributing to dog obesity as raised by the PDSA this week.
It seems that a third of dogs are now overweight (and 25% of cats). A staggering 90% of owners feed their dogs human treats such as cheese, crisps, cakes, biscuits, toast and takeaways (I woz surprised the percentage woz so low). Now – I like to odd treat and living in a guesthouse means that lots of people give me things. My favourite human food is custard and I usually get a bit of toast for doing the napkins in the mornings, but only a little bit coz I must not get fat. Sometimes a guest will save a bit of sausage for me – bad guest, bad!
Ian has also told me about a petfood tanker drivers’ strike (well I think that’s wot he said). This is a bit worrying and I have been queuing outside Pets at Home to make sure I have enough kibble. I have been taking the Government’s advice and topping up my stomach at every opportunity, but I have not been panic eating. Remember it is also dangerous to store lots of kibble at home – coz a mouse might get it!
Finally, a Somerset couple have been prosecuted for keeping 56 dogs in their semi detached home (together with chinchillas (wotever those are – sound like food to me), three cats, birds and six children). Now, this is very bad and it is obvious that the children (and cats) have contributed to the overcrowding. Therefore, remember – keep the number of dogs you have to a sensible number (two is good) and don’t overdo it on the children either.
I shall be telling you about my holiday later in the week, so until then…
P.S. Lynne sez there are a few rooms left over Easter (one on Saturday and a few on Sunday and Monday) so it you want a few days away for a quiet supper around my bowl, give her a call on 01278 732228.