Ozy’s Tax Return

You may have read in the papers that a lot of politicians are now publishing their tax details. As a public figure, I thought I would do the same and, as it is the end of the financial year, this is an ideal time to do it. So here it is:

K9 Revenue and Customs – Self Assessment Tax Return 2011-2012

Your personal details:

Full Name: Ozy the Labrador
Address: 25 Castle Street, Nether Stowey
Breed: Labrador Retriever
Phone number: 01278 732228
Microchip number: 958120041001248

INCOME

Employment:

Employment type: Hospitality
Place of employment: The Old Cider House
Employer’s business: Guesthouse

Income from employment (in biscuits):

Personal allowance (to 7,475)

0%

3,329

Basic tax rate (to 37,400)

20%

0

Higher tax rate (to 150,000)

40%

0

Elton John’s dog (+150,001)

50%

0

Other income (e.g. treats and ex-gratia payments as per P11Dog):

Biscuits from pubs etc.

20%

936

Chews (small hide)

20%

624

Bones

20%

4

Total income:

@ 0%

3,329

@ 20%

1,560

THIS SECTION HAS BEEN DELIBERATELY LEFT BLANK

Wot is the point of this section?

EXPENDITURE

Attributable to your employment:

Personal attire: New collar

£12

Bedding etc. New travel bed

£40

Food: Kibble

£468

Medical: Worming/tick treatment

£52

Personal general: Deodorising shampoo

£4

TOTAL

£576

CHARITABLE DONATIONS

Charity name: National Animal Welfare Trust

£5

PENSION CONTRIBUTIONS

Scheme details: I expect the State to look after me

£0

CALCULATIONS AND TAX PAYABLE

Conversion (£1.00 = 30 biscuits or 2 chews or 1 bone):

Tax payable in biscuits

@ 20%

187

Tax payable in chews

@ 20%

125

Tax converted into £ (1)

£69

Total expenditure (2)

-£576

Total charity (2)

-£5

Total pensions (2)

£0

TOTAL TAX PAYABLE (1-2)

If minus = £0

£0

SIGNED AND DATED:

Ozy
5 April 2012

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About Blog Administrator

We write a number of blogs for different reasons. For: Law - contact Ian Pearson 07531 852 229 Dog - contact Ozy The Old Cider House - contact Lynne 01278 732228
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3 Responses to Ozy’s Tax Return

  1. Phoebe Ashton says:

    Will you do mine for me this year Ozy? What would be the charge??

    Love

    Phoebe

    • A tax return takes about three hours. Therefore, this would be about 18 biscuits (@6.08 biscuits an hour under the National Minimum Biscuit Rate). This is not a quote but an estimate and the actual fees may differ given the complexity of the matter.

  2. Pingback: Offshore Biscuit Haven | Ozy's Blog

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