I’ve been away on holiday – AGAIN. This time to a place called Wiltshire, not too far away. Wiltshire is like Somerset but wetter!
Lynne wanted to research her family tree as her ansesters (wotever they are) come from there. Ian wanted to go because we stayed in a pub for three days and Uncle Peter had promised to keep him company. This woz not a good idea really, although the pub woz very pleased about the amount of beer Ian and Uncle Peter drank, but less happy about the amount of drivel they went on and on about into the early hours of the morning.
Lynne has turned into a bit of a genieographer and sits at the boxy thing in the office and writing things down on paper. Lynne found out that her ansesters worked on a farm a very long time ago, or were illegitimate, or both, but none of them were granted three wishes or lived in a bottle which was surprising. We don’t talk about Ian’s family coz they were FRENCH – Hugegnomes* – wot used to sit in gardens with fishing rods and smell of garlic.
As everyone else woz looking at their family tree, I thort I’d have a look at mine. This is easier than you think because I am a PEDIGREE. Which means I am posh and when I woz adopted I woz given a bit of paper with my family tree on it (see below). This is kept in the ‘Ozy General & Car Insurance’ file in the office. It is blue. I woz a bit concerned to start with as I thort it said I woz, ‘1560cc, Diesel, Citroen’, but this turned out to be Ian’s Berlingo. No, I am (and this is a bit embarrassing) – Hollies Bright Button. My parents are Stockiemuir Commander and Premierleek Friendly Giles. I think the people wot named us woz probably on drugz. I think Ozy is a good name, in fact I think 1560cc Diesel Citroen is a good name in comparison.
It woz also my birthday this week – I’m NINE you know. This equates to 68 on the Pedigree website where you can work out how old you are if you are a dog. I’m am still very active holding down a number of jobs; napkins, pillowslips, recycling, entertaining guests etc. and I intend to work as long as I can to help the economy get out of this double drip recession.
Well, time to get on with some more work. Lynne sez that we have rooms available for gud dogs at The Old Cider House, dog friendly, Bed and Breakfast, Quantocks, Quantock Hills, Somerset.
See you next week.
* I think Ozy means Huguenot – Ian