Ian and Lynne have been away climbing Spain’s highest mountain – Mount Teide in Tenerife. Hence no tweets or blog for a week or so. And guess wot? I wozn’t allowed to go because I woz over 55cm x 45cm x25cm and won’t fit into the overhead lockers or under the seat in front of them on their easyJet flight. Also I’m not sure those oxygen bags wot fall out of the roof are snout shaped and I would never be able to reach the toggle or blow into the tube or the whistle – so I would be a health and safety nightmare. Never mind, this has meant that Alan and Glennys have been looking after me – SMASHING. Having said that, the weather has been so bad that I have not been on any long walks with the old people – but have been to loads of pubs and to my favourite theme park – Jollys Pet Store – where I could wander around and steal biscuits while no one woz looking.
As soon as Ian and Lynne got back we were away again to celebrate Lynne’s significant birthday. We went to a place called Porlock and stayed in a hotel wot I had stayed in before but wot is now supposed to be posher. I woz given my own cream tea – FANTASTIC. We did loads of walking along the seaside and I found a dead fish – how lucky is that? Then we went to Lynmouth wot I remember from wen I did the South West Coastal Path. All in all it’s not been a bad few weeks and I’m looking forward to some nice weather.
I have also been asked by Peter of Chatham to explain my involvement in the K9 tax avoidance system. So, Peter of Chatham here it goes:
- First you must resign from your job. I have done this by not collecting napkins or tablecloths and just sitting in my basket at breakfast time
- Make a space in the wardrobe to put the biscuits you would have earned. To make this work you need to make the space under some jerseys
- Start collecting napkins again etc (or wotever you do to earn your money), but get the people wot normally pay you to put the biscuits under the jerseys in the wardrobe
- Then instead of getting paid the biscuits, get Ian (or whoever looks after you) to loan you the biscuits that have been put under the jerseys, this way you don’t have to pay tax and get 20% more biscuits
I hope this answers your question Peter.
So that’s it for this week. Lynne sez to remind you that you can come and stay with me at The Old Cider House – we have plenty of space during the week.