Ian woz watching QI on the television the other night, and Stephen Fry (wot does more Tweets than me) sed that the carbon footprint of a medium sized dog woz the same as two Toyota Land Cruisers (wotever they are). So I thort I’d look into this. Supposedly my carbon footprint (or paw print) is 2.1 acres and a SUV (?) is one acre. Cats are the same as a small Volkswagen, two hamsters – a plasma screen TV and goldfish, two mobile phones. Who makes this up?
So to do my own research I got Ian to draw around my paws with a felt tip pen. This woz a bit tickly but in the end Ian managed to get a fairly good print. This measures 7cm X 9.5cm and on the basis that my paw is ellipsoid then the surface area is π x radius (average) = 26cm². As I have four paws this is about 100cm². Now a Land Cruiser has four tyres and while I’m not sure how big these are I got Ian to measure the tyre print on his Citroen Belingo. These are 17cm X 24cm (X4) = 1,632cm². Now I don’t know about you but a dirty great big car with a tyre print sixteen times bigger than my paws is very unlikely to have a smaller carbon footprint is it?
Now as I couldn’t believe that Stephen Fry woz wrong, cos he is supposedly reely clever (bonkers and bipolar but clever), I did some more research. According to Dogipedia, the reference resource written and edited by dogs, and the reason my footprint is so high is because I eat meat. This is not right – I eat Eukanuba kibble. So I got Lynne to read the label and it does contain chicken and turkey >20% (but little feet), dried beef pulp (dirty great big feet but not much of it), cereal, egg and stuff and fish oil. Then, guess wot – CRUDE ASH 6.7% – so this is where the carbon comes from. Every day I eat 20 grams of neat carbon, or 7.3 kilos a year. No wonder my footprint is so blinking big!
Then there are the black biscuits in my Spillers Shapes (now Winalot). These are also ash – so I reckon that I’m on about 10 kilos of carbon a year – this is nearly a third of my weight.
Luckily there is something called Carbon Footprint Offsetting. This is where I can contribute to schemes that are energy efficient. So what I’m going to do is swap my black biscuits for more of the pink salmon ones, walk to the pub (wot is wot I always do anyway) and try not to do wind when I am in public.
Ian and Lynne say that you can come and see them if you have got a nice energy efficient car at The Old Cider House, Dog Friendly B&B, Quantocks, Quantock Hills, Somerset.