The ‘D’ Level (Dog Level) results came out this week. Mine came through and I woz a bit disappointed – why have they dummed up the results the year I took my exams? 21 years of making the things easier (and lying about it) and now my results were ‘grade deflated’. Needless to say I didn’t do as well as I had hoped.
I had hoped for two ‘A’s and a ‘B’ in Canine Studies, Dogology and Labradography (I woz told to concentrate on sciences) to get into Dogford the best university for dogs, but I only managed C, B, D. The course I wanted to get on woz ‘Social Media for Dogs’. Ian thought I woz making up the course, but it seems that loads of universities offer social media courses for humans and Birmingham even does a Masters in it.
Lynne suggested I go through clearing to see if there are other universities that might take me. I woz quite interested in the University of Pets (you couldn’t make this stuff up!), but I would have to go to America to study there.
So I have decided to have a gap year and lounge around on the sofa, watching daytime television and eating custard creams – at least until my apprenticeship application is considered by that nice Mr Branson as a meeter and greeter on West Coast Trains.
Ozy the Labrador, The Old Cider House, Dog Friendly Bed and Breakfast, Somerset
Think you might be onto a loser there Ozy: Mr. Branson has just lost the contract to operate West Coast Trains after December. You could try that nice lady at First Great Western if they still have meeters and greeters for the Golden Hind and their sleeper service, though the uniform isn’t quite so fetching (and I hear you do ‘fetching’ so well :-)).