I have been on holiday to Scotland. Scotland is another country (well, that’s wot they like to think – but it’s really just like England but with higher mountains and funny accents). It is also a long way away – nearly as far as France, but you don’t need your pet passport or rabies jabs (although better safe than sorry looking at some of the Scottish dogs). We spent two days getting up there stopping overnight in a really dog friendly pub called the Watermill in the Lake District. This also had its own microbrewery which made Ian happy and all the beers are named after dogs.
The Scottish are very keen on getting rid of the English and they want to have wot is called a rufferendum where Scottish dogs can vote on whether they split off from the English and Welsh dogs (and any breeds in Northern Ireland). This is called Devil-ution. The question appears to be ‘Wot is the question?’. Alex Salmon and Nicola Sturgeon – both fish you’ll notice (although looking at Sturgeon’s hairstyle, ‘mullet’ might be a better name) went down to see that nice Mr Cameron to discuss it (or be told wot to do). Will it be one question or will it be ‘can we have independence please but will the rest of the UK pay for everything else?’ I say let them get on with it.
Wotever, Scotland is a nice place for a holiday and the real reason for going there woz to climb a mountain called Ben Nevis. This is the last in my ‘three Pekinese challenge’ – I have done Snowdon and Scafell Pike and Mr Nevis is the highest of these. I did a lot of research on this and the route looked easy enough although I woz a bit concerned about the number of little brown lines on the map wot were very close together. When we started off the weather forecast was for heavy snow on the top, but Ian asked some people wot looked like they knew wot they were doing and they said it would be fine. So we started off. It wozn’t too bad to start with but as we got higher it started to rain, then sleet, then snow. But the worst woz the hail wot hurt my fur. By the time we got to the the top it woz -6°C.
That’s nearly as cold as the big white box in the laundry room wot Lynne keeps the peas and fish fingers in. But we did do it and we all got a pork pie for lunch wot woz good. I did however, notice that Ian and Lynne’s pie woz called Melton Mowbray and mine woz called Morrison’s ‘Savers’ (59p) – it woz good though. I also got a certificate (with my name on it) and a bandana. One thing I should mention; if you are a dog don’t go to the Ben Nevis Inn at the bottom of the mountain coz they don’t allow you in.
Apart from the Ben Nevis Inn, all of the other pubs were really dog friendly and special mention needs to go to: The Tailrace Inn, The MacDonald Hotel, The Clachaig Inn, The Chlachain Inn, The Buccleuch Arms Hotel for letting me in and, on occasion, giving me a biscuit.
I’m back in Somerset now, helping to run a small, dog friendly bed and breakfast. If you want to come and see me then give Lynne or Ian a call on 01278 732228 or e-mail me; firstname.lastname@example.org