After last week’s blog about James Bond, Ian and Lynne went to see Skyfall this week. Of course – guess what – I couldn’t go because I am only a dog and dogs aren’t allowed in the cinema (or Prezzos). Therefore, I had to imagine wot would be in a 007 film. If I’d directed it I would have had Bond fighting on top of a train (coz he does that in most films), motorbikes going through a crowded market knocking over stalls of oranges, a casino scene where Bond drinks a vodka martini, perhaps a bit where Bond slips into the shower with a lady, and there needs to be a DB5 in it, then he would do something he wasn’t supposed to do (but M knew wot he woz doing reely). Finally, he would shoot down a helicopter with a blunderbuss or a cat or something. Ian says this woz nothing like the plot of the new film and to stop being stupid. [I wondered why Ian kept taking photos of my paws, it woz so he could stick them on the 007 photo – he really does have too much time on his hands!]
I used the time alone to catch up on a question or two. One matter has been quite difficult and I’ve been putting it off a bit…
As we are all on a “diet” in the office we have taken to eating grapes instead of chocolate – which we know you are partial to (chocolate that is! but we wont mention that again). With your vast knowledge of currant affairs, would you please explain to us the difference between raisins, sultanas, and of course currants?
Yours fruitily Michael Steven Management Department better known as Helen and Jo !xx
Dear Michael Steven Management Department,
There is an easy answer to this and a more difficult one. The easy one goes like this; raisins = dried grapes, currants = dried grapes, sultana = dried grapes.
The more difficult answer is that raisins are dried white grapes, often Moscatel. These tend to produce a dark sweet fruit. Sultanas (apart from being the wife of the Sultan) are dried white grapes but seedless. These tend to be plumper and sweeter. Finally, currants are dried red, seedless grapes. The name comes from where they first came from – Corinth in Greece.
Ian sez he likes his grapes in liquid form, just like barley, but he did tell me some not very funny grape jokes (he’s going into Christmas crackers next year):
Q: What did the grape say when he got stepped on? A: Nothing, he just let out a little whine.
Q: Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? A: Because he ran out of juice.
On a serious note, grapes can be poisonous to dogs so its best to avoid them – that means fruit and nut dark chocolate is a no no. However, while I woz researching this on Dogepedia I came across these videos. Dog – pill – swallow. Cat; grab it by the chops (wearing gauntlets), force its mouth open, throw the pill down as far as will go, close its mouth, wait for it to spit it out, repeat, repeat, give up.