Every time the radio-alarm comes on in the morning it’s the same old rubbish – the election in the United States (wherever that is). It sort of puts me off going into Ian and Lynne’s bedroom and trying to jump on the bed and is worse than listening to Anne Atkins.
Wotever, I have now heard enough to be able to explain how this all works.
There are two candidates.
The first is Bark Obama. He is the President at the moment and has been for the last four years. He is also black – which is a good colour. Bark is a Democat. This means it is a left paw party and more in tune with the poor dogs of the US and think the state should look after all the dogs. In fact Bark has put in place a scheme where all poor dogs can get veterinary care and this has caused some problems as the rich dogs wot work, have said that it is unfair that poor dogs can get medical help and if they haven’t got any money they should suffer and die (seems a bit harsh to me).
The other bloke is Pitt [Bull] Romney is a Ruffpublican (don’t argue with them at closing time!). Ruffpublicans think you should look after yourselves – which is alright if you are rich and have a job. Pitt is also a Moron and goes to the Church of the Latter Day St Bernards. This is a bit worrying.
Now voting seems to be a bit complicated. This is something to do with getting votes in an electoral college – why they need a school to let you vote is beyond me. Having said that, looking at who votes in our elections, it might be a good idea. If you get enough votes in these colleges then you can become president and rule the World.
Basically though it is quite straightforward. If you live near the sea you vote for Bark (who confusingly for a left wing party is blue). If you live in the middle you vote for red Pitt.
Finally, the Americans then choose who has the best pop stars. Bark has Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam, Cher, J Lo and Neil Diamond (for the older voters). Pitt has Meat Loaf.
The results for the contest come out tomorrow, unless the chads don’t work.
This week’s blog has been postponed until Friday. If you want to discuss anything you have read here please contact me at The Old Cider House, Dog Friendly Accommodation, Somerset, Quantocks, Quantock Hills