The Puppies in the Tower

Dear Ozy,

I recently came on one of your Real Ale Walks and you told us that Nether Stowey Castle was demolished as retribution for the then owners support of the Cornish Rebellion and that this was something to do with the ‘Puppies in the Tower’. I have been watching The White Queen on the BBC and this came up again. Perhaps you could tell the story for your readers.

Thank you,

Colin from Canterbury

Dear Colin from Canterbury,

The Plantalots were rich and powerful farmers and landowners in the fifteenth century but they were always fighting over who got the purple hazelnut caramel chocolate that woz so much in demand at the time. This woz called the War of the Roses and the two teams – one the Yorkshire Terriers the other, wot have not got a dog named after them but are from Lancaster, were always saying they had the best dogs (even though Lancaster didn’t have one).

The Puppies in the Tower, put there by Richard the Ridgeback

The Puppies in the Tower, put there by Richard the Ridgeback

Then Edward IV fell in love with Phillippa Gregory instead of the lady wot the Earl of Whippet had chosen for the King and married her. This caused a bit of a hoo-ha. Then there woz a bit of argy-bargy with the Earl of Whippet saying he woz in charge after a battle and then bringing in a spare king wot they had in reserve, Henry VI.

Edward woz a bit cheesed off at this and sed he wanted to be King again. In the meantime the Queen had some more puppies (she already had an earlier litter) – Edward and Richard. Then the King Edward died and sed that his brother Richard could look after the Thrown for a bit, while the puppies were being trained at obedience classes. However, Richard the Ridgeback (probably from Rhodesia) sed he would make a better king and put the two puppies in the Kennel of London.

Now it is likely that Edward, the older of the puppies woz put down, but Richard may have escaped – or even been swapped for a poor rescue dog at the time of being locked up.

Richard III (the Ridgeback) then got into a fight in a car park in Leicestershire (Bosworth Field Car Park) and Henry Tudor (number 7) won.

Now this is the interesting bit and why people knocked down Nether Stowey Castle and knocked off the head of the then owner. Richard spent some time in Europe on his pet passport and got together some rough looking dogs from France to come over to England for a bit of a scrap. Then on 14 September 1497 Richard (now calling himself Perkins Warbeck) goes to Cornwall (good walks) to support the Cornish dogs who are sick and tired of being on a short lead held by Henry VII. Richard is so popular that he is crowned ‘Top Dog’ as Richard IV on Bodmin Moor. However, things go to pot a bit and Richard has to sniff Henry VII’s bottom at Taunton.

Things go from bad to worse for Richard (IV) and he ends up being put down by Henry VII, again in the Kennel of London. Unfortunately, Nether Stowey Castle owner, Lord Audley, picked the wrong king!

So, Colin from Canterbury, I hope this answers your question.

Ozy

If you want to see where the man that supported the Puppies in the Tower lived, visit me at The Old Cider House, Quantocks, Pet Friendly B&B

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About Blog Administrator

We write a number of blogs for different reasons. For: Law - contact Ian Pearson 07531 852 229 Dog - contact Ozy The Old Cider House - contact Lynne 01278 732228
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2 Responses to The Puppies in the Tower

  1. Di says:

    Hilarious! Love it!

  2. rantalily says:

    As somewhat of an expert on history and having studied this particular era for many years, I must say this is an intelligent precis. Well done Oz.

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