In the running around the field game yesterday, my horse came 13th! This was very disappointing as I had got a first and a third in the last two years and I have become to rely on those winnings for my holiday money. Ian said that I shouldn’t rely on gambling as an income, but because I get so little money from doing napkins and stuff I need to supplement my income somehow.
This afternoon I am going to bet on the blue team to win the Boat Race.
Today is the first day of the new Dog and Cat Argument Service (DACAS). This means that if you have an argument with another family pet member then instead of growling (dogs) or spitting (cats), you now have to go through DACAS (actually you are not obliged to do so until 6th May – as Ian keeps shouting at the BBC Radio 4 broadcasters).
DACAS will take your details about who’s allowed to sit on the sofa or who gets the blame for digging up the tomato plants and then talk nicely to you. This is all part of the Government’s scheme to stop people using the Employment Tribunal (although charging dogs and cats 1,200 biscuits seems to have had the desired effect).
Finally, Ian has made a smell in the office.
This comes from the new Air Wick ‘Scent of Exmoor’ air freshener wot he has put in the office. Supposedly this smells of ‘sea spray and ocean minerals’. I think it smells like the stuff Lynne puts down the toilet when someone has done a poo!
Ian thort it would be a good idea to find out wot the Quantocks smell like and has done a competition. Wot you have to do is log onto the competition page by CLICKING HERE or on the picture of the Air Wick box and put down what you think the aroma of Quantock Hills contains. I have suggested; dead badger, fox poo with overtones of stag musk. The winner will get to stay at The Old Cider House and get their perfume made up (there’s a firm wot does this, although I didn’t actually see any mention of badger on their site!
Well, that’s enough for today. Remember that Somerset is open for business and I look forward to seeing you all over the spring and summer.