How should dogs vote?

Vote carefully by licking the candidate you want.

Vote carefully by licking the candidate you want.

I have been wondering how I should vote in the election. So I have been scanning the manifestos of all the main parties looking to see what they say about dogs’ rights and how us dogs will be looked after in the future.

Dogservatives

There is nothing in the manifesto about dogs. This is disappointing as there are 8.3 million dogs, lots of them living in middle-class homes. These dogs have a lot of needs; kibble, nice places in the country to walk and like to travel abroad to their owner’s holiday homes in Provence etc. They would have a lot of pester power and could convince their owners to vote Tory.

 Labourdors

Their manifesto actually has stuff about dogs and animals:

We will build on our strong record on animal welfare – starting with an end to the Government’s ineffective and cruel badger cull. We will improve the protection of dogs and cats, ban wild animals in circuses, defend the hunting ban and deal with wildlife crime associated with shooting…

Whilst we would be bankrupt again it seems that they have our best interests at heart.

Liberal Dalmations

Nothing about dogs here at all. However, they do not appear to rule out forming an alliance with another breeds to form a government. All these dogs are owned by people wot work in schools or in local government.

UK Independent Pooch (UKIP)

These are run by a Rottweiler called Nigel. It is his intention to limit the number of foreign dogs wot can come into the country. This is all well and good but I am originally a Portuguese fishing dog wot worked in the north-east part of America. Would he let me in today?

Scottish Naughty Puppies (SNP)

These are reely naughty. I couldn’t find their manifesto on their website initially, until I found out you had to click on a picture of the fish woman with the funny haircut. Nothing about dogs – how will the Westies and Scotties know how to vote?

Greens

Blinking Nora, there’s loads of stuff on dogs here:

  • Strengthen the ban on hunting with dogs
  • Stop non-medical experiments, experiments using primates, cats and dogs
  • Completely review and update existing dog legislation, particularly relating to dog control
  • Ensure properly coordinated action on dog fighting
  • A requirement that dogs living in council owned homes should be micro-chipped

Monster Raving Loony Party

Nothing in the manifesto really about dogs, although I did like the policy for HMRC to give Nectar points to those paying their taxes on time. However, previous policies have included:

  • Abolition of dog licences (1987) – nothing yet on the abolition of the poetic licence.
  • Passports for pets (2001)
  • Pets, especially cats and dogs, may not be dressed in miniature human clothing for the purpose of human amusement

I’ll leave it up to you how you or your owner votes…

However, if you want to discuss politics with me call 01278 732228 or send me message at woofwoof@theoldciderhouse.co.uk 

Ozy

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About Blog Administrator

We write a number of blogs for different reasons. For: Law - contact Ian Pearson 07531 852 229 Dog - contact Ozy The Old Cider House - contact Lynne 01278 732228
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One Response to How should dogs vote?

  1. Chris Harrington says:

    I’m sure you will use your vote wisely, Ozy!
    If Nicola Sturgeon and the SNP have a big say in the coming months & years in the event of a hung Parliament, the country could well and truly “go to the dogs”…

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