I have been asked wot my opinion is on the United States election, so I have been watching the debates on the television while Ian has been doing the ironing and this is the way wot I see it.
There are two people wot can be the President. One is called Hillary Clinton and the other is Donald Trump. According to the press one is a complete Shih Tzu, the other Labradoodle.
Hillary Clinton is mistrusted by lots of the American public – mainly because she is a politician and sucks up to people wot she thinks will support her. Supposedly this is not the way to do things in America! But wot is reely a problem is her using her own e-mail account.
Now I am supposed to use the official Old Cider House account, but when I don’t want Ian to see wot I’m saying I often use my email@example.com account. And this is the problem; the powers that be can’t see wot is being said. In fact I’ve now deleted my e-mails, all 62,320 of them – admittedly most of them were about Nigerian dogs wanting to send me money and non-prescription worming tablets but some might have been important.
On the other hand, Donald Trump is like a Spaniel on ketamine. Firstly, he has a cat on his head. As a rule of thumb, don’t vote for people who have cats on their heads.
Secondly, Donald Trump wants to build a wall across America to keep the Mexican Chiwawas out. This is estimated to cost in the region of $12BN. Now, I don’t know about you but I think Chiwawas are not very big and probably breezeblock height would be enough to stop them. The border is 3,145 kilometres or 1,954 miles. A breezeblock is 440mm x 215mm. therefore using Jewson’s Brick Calculator I reckon it will take 7,765,433 bricks (including a 10mm mortar joint). Wicks sell these at £1.90 a brick so that would be £14,753,500 or $18,048,841. Even if you made the wall double the height then this would only be $36M and you’d probably get a discount for bulk buying. I’m not sure he’s as good a businessman as he says.
So, who will the Americans vote for – just seven days to find out.
If you want to discuss the election with me then use my secret account firstname.lastname@example.org