Everyone is doing their DNA at the moment. Ian has had his done and he is 42% western European, 36% Great British, 12% Scandinavian, 8% Iberian Peninsula and 2% Irish. This sort of follows wot Ian thinks his ancestry should be on the basis that he was originally a mad Calvinistic Huguenot from France back in the seventeenth century and obviously has striking Viking good looks (Ian wrote this bit). I pointed out that Sandi Toksvig was also a Viking and she’s not known for her looks!
So if Ian could have his done, then why not me? Most dogs know where they come from from their smell, this is why dogs are always sniffing each other’s bottoms. However, there is now a new test, also known as DNA – Dog Nose Alternative.
The first thing you need to do is dribble some of your dribble into a test tube. Ian got me to do this by mentioning ‘kibble’. Then you send off the dribble by putting it in the red slotty thing on the corner of the road, opposite the George pub. Ian then got the results on the screen thing on his desk.
My results were very accurate. Firstly, part of my DNA is from Portugal. This is because my ancestors were originally Portuguese fishing dogs. Next I also have DNA from Newfoundland which is where I get my name from. Lastly, I am from Bridgwater, cos this is where I was born, in a Wendy house, in a garden.
Wot was even more interesting was my characteristics which show intelligence, my swimming ability and why I’m always hungry. The ven diagram left shows this quite clearly. I wonder where cats come from?